Free Journey

It is funny how I end up in situations that prepare me for others….

I call these events “God” things. For these things I am grateful.

I was sitting at my friend’s place of employment where they introduce addicts to recovery. Today, there was just one client there and so we all chatted casually for a while. We were reminiscing about what it was like to go to our first meeting and talking about that first “event” we attended. We talked about what it felt like and how others in the room made us feel welcome. So much so that we tried again, again and again. Until now, the program is my life. The people who I share my life with are all addicts and I don’t think twice about walking into a room or going to an event. In fact, I am so comfortable today with the fellowship that even in another place, city or state I find the same comfort.

For this I am grateful. I am so thankful to not be alone. To know enough about me that I find comfort wherever I go. I am thankful to know enough about addicts to know their all the same in a different kind of way.

I state my gratitude for the fellowship, for recovery, for God first. With out these things I would not have my family, my job, my sanity, my serenity, my life.

I am grateful to my husband for always providing, for keeping me centered and not letting me overspend. I am grateful for his love, his touch and our routine. I am so grateful that I can count on him. We “dance” so well together that life is simple and manageable and joyful.

I am grateful to my daughter. She is my precious gift. That sweet soul that was sent to balance me, to try me and to teach me. I am so grateful that when I set out to raise an independent, free thinker that is what I have. As frustrating as it can be one day she is going to achieve amazing things. She loves deep and expresses her feelings. She shares her life with me. I am so grateful for her openness.

I am grateful for my son. My miracle. The gift I didn’t know I wanted. And he just keeps giving and giving and giving. I am so grateful he can communicate with me today and he can tell me “I hurt”, or “I happy”. I am grateful for his animated looks and faces that he makes. It is those looks that tell me he’s confused. He will say “I happy” with a frown or smile and say “I hurt”. He is such a joy and I am learning even more about me as result of loving him.

Thank you to HP. Once again none of this is possible with out my faith to rely on God. It is that faith that provides me the strength to stay clean and in recovery. It is only with recovery that I am able to have all those things for which I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving

posted by freedom14 @ 2:37 PM 1 comments

Trunk or Treat

Well the last post I think left the impression that I don’t celebrate Halloween. What I meant is I don’t celebrate the way I used to. Every Halloween since that hallowed day has been chemical free and completely about my child / children.

My son was Yoda and he was the cutest Yoda you ever have seen. Just over two he was very impatient waiting in line to trunk or treat. This trunk or treat is a new concept. I remember a decade of taking my daughter door to door. After this year and the pitiful candy my son scored it will be the traditional trick or treat from now on. I know I sound greedy but if my son is going to be given a bucket full of candy I at least want something I can help him eat.

We had a great evening him and his sister were very cute. Reagan was a bit put out that she is too old to trunk or treat. But, a few of the volunteers gave her a treat as well. I snuggled my kiddos a little tighter last night with the knowledge that I am leaving them for a week.

Sean and I are off to Seattle to celebrate service in Narcotics Anonymous. We will learn how other areas do service and we will celebrate recovery. Conventions are great. We meet addicts from other places and find we are all just the same. We form bonds and ties with people and the friendships carry on for years to come. It is a very attractive part of the program. No matter where I go or for what reason I typically connect with a recovering addict. That is just the way I travel.

Sean mentioned the last time we took a road trip we came back pregnant. Now he wants double the protection. I told him I have my birth control, you bring yours. Otherwise abstinence is always the best protection. Now we all know that isn’t happening. What with no kids and all. That hasn’t occurred for this length of time since we were married. As much as I am looking forward to this trip I will miss my little turkeys.

There is only one promise in Narcotics Anonymous.

Our message is hope, our promise is freedom.

I have never been so free, every day I awake to turn my will and my life to God I find another level of freedom. The miracle is each day I acknowledge God and share in gratitude I reach another peak in Serenity. God has granted me freedom through the 12-steps. If you don’t believe me…. Try it!

posted by freedom14 @ 2:43 PM 0 comments