I suppose "you" wouldn't know it but I tend to create the impression that I am an extrovert. People tend to think I am outgoing and secure in what I do and am. What is happening here is I AM A GREAT BIG FAKER! I am such a faker even I believe I am what others think I am.....Does that make any sense.
On to the point. I do very well among those whom I have built close relationships with. I have not a shy part of my soul and I am very willing to get "vulnerable" because I know they will love me anyway. Because of this I tend to stay in my comfort zone. I dont branch out or reach out or get vulnerable anywhere else.
So I leave for DC on Tuesday. I am going to a great big city I have never been to. In fact SLC scares the shit out of me alone. I am a small town girl who loves the image of the big city life. As I have posted before I thought I was country. But I digress.
I am going to connect with some women or a woman hopefully. See the beauty of Narcotics Anonymous is whereever I go, I have pseudo family. Anyway I feel vulnerable, I feel scared. I have attempted to convince friends to come just fly out the rest is on me. Dont bother with the fact that I will be in training 8 hours each day. So I am getting vulnerable. I am feeling wide open. I will be alone. This is the true test of my strength, and my realtionship with HP.
The adrenaline is kick ass today I can't imagine how it will feel Tuesday.
posted by freedom14 @ 1:17 PM
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